Stop the whining with roll playing

It’s been my trick since my daughter was three: Reverse psychology role playing. (I made that up myself!)

Here’s the thing; my daughter hates brushing her hair. She has long, wavy, often unruly hair. At times it gets quite tangled and requires an extensive brushing session. Now, she isn’t necessarily tender headed, but she can only take so much tugging and pulling on her poor little scalp before she begins to complain that I am hurting her. Sometimes that whining would turn to sincere tears, which of course always make me feel bad.

I decided one night that I’d try to lighten the situation, hoping to discourage the whining, by reversing roles. I told her, “How about I be the Jada and you be the Mommy?” She wasn’t sure where I was going with this, so I began my part (as I continued to brush her hair throughout the dialogue):

Me: (in a smaller, whiny voice) “Mommy, it really hurts me when you pull my hair so hard.”

Jada: (catching on surprisingly quickly; in her best soothing, mothering voice) “Well baby, I know. But I have to get the tangles out.”

Me: “But… it really hurts me.”

Jada: “I know. I’m sorry. I just have to do it.”

Me: “Mommy, do you think you could brush easier?”

Jada: “Yes baby, I’ll be easy.”

Me: (when I realize that I must be really hurting her poor little head) “Oh Mommy, that really hurts!!”

Jada: “I know, you have some really big tangles! I’ll try to be easy.”

Me: “Oww, oww, owww! That really does hurt me Mommy! Please be more gentle!”

And so on, you get the picture. But I was so happy to find her playing along so nicely, and she was so preoccupied responding to me that she completely forgot about her own complaining. When it came to a tough tangle, and I could see her wince, I’d complain before she could. That way, she knew that I understood that it was hurting her, and she was able to respond to me like she would want me to respond to her. If you try this method, and your child isn’t so quick to cooperate, just playfully say, “No, no, you’re supposed to say this…” and feed them some lines for their role. Stay in character, and hopefully they will catch on and play along too.

This is one scenario, but it could be used in many different cases. Eating something that they don’t like, putting medicine on a scraped knee, whatever incites protests in your home. So, if there is one thing in particular that your child whines about every time, you may find that this is a fun way to lighten the mood.

If you have a similar story to share, or a method that you have found works really well for discouraging whining, I’d love to hear from you!