This morning when I woke up I decided that today would be the day that I completely wean 17 month old Titus. I haven’t been planning it; I didn’t tell myself before I went to bed that today would be the day; before I heard his calls from the crib, I just decided it. I’ve been thinking for a while now that I’d like to wean him, and I think he’s ready. I don’t even feel like he’s getting anything most of the time when he does try to nurse.
When he woke up and I heard his calls for me, “Mama! Mama!”, I went into his bedroom to cheerfully get him up. As soon as he saw me come through the door he sat up and immediately started signing and saying “milk”, like usual. Normally I would take him straight to the couch where I would sit and nurse him. Not today. Instead I sat down with him and a warm sippy cup of milk and said, “Here, this is milk.” He angrily pushed the cup away, whined, and signed and said “milk!” I said, “Here buddy, this is milk.” He wanted nothing to do with that cup. He kept pushing it away. Finally, I sat it down and said, “That’s your milk, baby.” And I went about making breakfast. He whined for just a second, then decided he’d play. About 30 min. later he crawled up on the couch and again, whining, asked for milk. I fed him some breakfast and he quickly forgot all about it. He went the whole day without nursing… until 5:00 came.
When he woke up from his afternoon nap, he was signing “milk” again. I tried another cup of warm milk. It was a no-go. Again he just angrily pushed the cup away, and could not understand why I wouldn’t nurse him. I started to feel bad and rationalized with myself, “He’s still young. I can wean him in another month or so.” And I gave in.
What am I to do? I weaned my daughter at 14 mos no problem. I guess all baby’s are different. I’ve heard that boys are harder to wean. Is that true? I even added a tiny pinch of sugar to the milk, but it didn’t help. He just won’t ever drink cow’s milk. Now, I have found that he will drink vanilla soy milk. Is that okay for him to have every day? I need to ask his doc. So, I guess I’ll try again in a few more weeks and see how that goes.
Any advice for me??
*I thought I’d add a little note: I’ve gotten the nursings mostly down to just once a day; first thing in the morning. Sometimes he asks for milk mid-day, but when I nurse him it’s only for like 1-2 min. and then he stops. I don’t think he’s getting anything during those second feedings. So, I’m just trying to stop this final feeding in the mornings. But you know, if he isn’t ready then I can wait 
Rachel says:
I don’t have any advice, just condolences. I think I will be in a similar boat in the future. I, too weaned my daughter easily at 14 months. My 8-month old loves to nurse and isn’t wild about taking a bottle. I think I will have similar difficulties when he gets older. Soy milk is fine to give babies daily. (that’s what dairy allergics babies drink after all)
July 3rd, 2008 at 6:34 pm
lacy reyes says:
What a cutie!
I have no advice for you on this, I just wanted to say way to go for nursing this long! I wanted to so badly, but had to stop at 6 months when I was hospitalized for a week with kidney stones! I tried to pump, but they had so much pain med. going in me, I slept through most of the day and eventually dried up! I was angry for a long time about having to stop on terms that weren’t my own…but God had other plans I guess!
There are so many women that give up or don’t even try! So, wow! Im amazed to see that there are still women out there that are for nursing!
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Christie says:
Aww.. he’s adorable.
Personally, I’d try not to give too much soymilk… There’s some debate over the hormonal effects it can have. I’m with your little man though; I hate cow’s milk!
Good luck on the weaning!!
My little brother had milk allergies, so my mom gave him rice milk for years… he loved it! I personally prefer rice milk, and on occasion almond milk… yummy
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Lenetta says:
I don’t have any firsthand advice - I’m still nursing my 15 month old, basically because I haven’t come across a reason to stop yet. I’ve heard a good way to wean gradually is to “don’t offer, don’t refuse” - if he wants to nurse, let him, but don’t initiate it. Based on that theory, maybe he isn’t quite ready to quit?
I think some soy milk is fine, although there’s information that goes the other way. It sometimes has quite a bit of sugar.
If I were in your shoes, I might try to keep distracting him but if he’s persistent, then I’d nurse him. It’s such a personal decision, only you know what’s best for the two of you! Good luck.
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:27 pm
Julie says:
I don’t think I’d go cold turkey. That’s a big change for a little boy
Maybe in the morning give him the cup of warm milk, but sit and snuggle in a different spot from where you normally nurse.
You might even want to call the cup of milk a different name since he already associates “milk” with nursing.
Go all day without nursing then nurse at bed time. See how that goes for a while then work on weaning the bedtime nursing session.
My youngest was on the small side (10% height, 5% weight) so we would give him Pedisure in place of some of his feedings. This is how I began weaning him. Eventually, he was on a bottle for about 1 month then we moved the Pedisure into a sippy cup. When he finally began eating well, we replaced the Pedisure with whole milk.
Good luck! And great job on nursing your little one for so long
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Jennifer says:
I am a mother of two. The oldest is my daughter, and I am currently nursing my son. I weaned my daughter at about 14 months because my sister thought it was terrible that she was still nursing. I just took it away from her. She was very upset. Now thinking back to that I feel terrible for doing that. This time I hope to do it for as long as he feels a need for it. I hope he self weans before he is two though! Otherwise I don’t know what I will do.
July 4th, 2008 at 12:13 am
deb says:
I nursed my last son till he was almost 4 and the doctors said that it probably saved his life as he developed terrible allergies and asthma after he was weaned. Mothers consider nursing as a chore to “hurry up and stop” and that is not the way to look at it. Look at it as a wonderful time for you two to be together and bonded in love. My son is now 22 and we have a great relationship of mutual love and respect. Americans need to chill and enjoy the rearing of their children instead of wanting to rush each step in their development. Relax!
July 4th, 2008 at 7:31 am
Crystal says:
Hey just a bargain stalker here. Weaning my daughter was definitely easier. When she was ten months old my appendix burst and I had to be rushed in for emergency surgery. Another med students wife took my daughter for two nights and regardless of the fact that she had not ever taken a bottle before from that moment on she was exclusively a bottle baby. Who know though, that might just have been a blessing from God. My son on the other hand just would not drink milk. We started weaning when he was 14 months old and should have been able to take cows milk but just like your son when I gave it to him he would refuse it. What I finally had to do was just have a week where he only drank juice. Then when he had had about three days of no nursing he finally took his sippy cup full of milk. Did I feel bad about that week of just juice. YES! But he is a healthy happy four year old now so I don’t think there was any lasting damage
July 4th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Sarah says:
No advice for you, but I can sympathize. I just found out at 3 months pregnant that I’m having twins, and I am still nursing my 8 month old daughter. This is my first time weaning a child, but she is not having it and I have tried just about everything I can think of to gradually decrease feedings. My daughter will eat a whole jar of baby food and still want to nurse! I am just trying to be patient and remind myself that I have a few more months before she needs to be completely weaned. This stuff is hard!
July 4th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Dana says:
I say wean when you are both ready…. I have nursed three children… the last one nursed until she was three…. She has never been sick =-) and is a healthy happy near five year old who only started drinking cow milk a couple months ago…. Hugs Mama Hugs
July 5th, 2008 at 3:03 am
DeAnn says:
I’d wean him when you’re ready. With my son, he was about the same age as Titus, down to one nursing a day (morning) and I decided it was time to wean him. The big difference is that when I had my son, I had some huge health concerns and I had to take medicine for my heart (the doctor made sure it was safe for my baby, he was a big supporter of breast-feeding babies). They told me when I weaned my son that they would switch my medicine to better one, but it wouldn’t be safe for my baby. So, when I was done nursing my son, I was really done because it would have harmed him to nurse. If it hadn’t been for that, I’m sure I would have caved in, he wanted to nurse so badly. So decide when You are ready and then stick to it, your son will be fine and he’ll get used to it. Give him lots of cuddles!
July 10th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Heather says:
I’ve nursed 2 boys and weaned them both differently. I try to wean over a holiday break when I know I will have help with naptimes, such as Christmas or Spring Break. When my first son was 17 months I decided his twice a day nursings were enough. He was drinking juice and milk from a sippy cup, he just wanted to nurse to fall asleep. My mother (lives next door) came over every nap and bedtime for that whole week we were all off work for Christmas break and that did it! He knew if it was me putting him down for bed that I had the milk, so we had to use the next best thing, his grandma. For my second son I tried something a little different. I started offering him milk instead of my milk and he refused. Then I found vanilla milk!!! That did the trick. Breast milk is very sweet (so I’m told) and regular cow’s milk is not. So I found packets that you add to your milk. They make vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. Vanilla was just sweet enough. They also make vanilla milk in soy and rice milk if your son has any adverse effects from the cow’s milk. We did this simultaneously with Spring Break and my mother was on hand again to help with naps and bedtimes. He wanted me but he would take her. It worked for me!
July 21st, 2008 at 11:51 pm