Mistakes Parents Make That Create Bad Habits
September 30th, 2008 | By KendraAs parents, we all make mistakes. Even from infancy a seemingly innocent practice can lead to a really hard habit to break in a very short time. Fortunately, if we start early we can avoid a few common mistakes that parents make which can easily create bad habits in our children. Now, these are not behavioral problems that would warrant discipline. I’m simply talking about kids doing things that aren’t so cute after a while. Here are a few things that I have tried to avoid in my own journey as a Mother, things that reinforce bad habits in children. Some I have had to learn the hard way!
1. Letting your child sleep in the bed with you.
Now, before I get a bunch of comments from all of you who co-sleep, let me explain myself. I don’t see anything wrong with responsibly sleeping with baby. I did it with both of mine for the first three months, and it was wonderful. It becomes a problem, however, when you allow baby to sleep with you for much longer than this. The longer baby sleeps with you, the harder it is for him/her to learn to sleep independently. I’ve seen it lots of times. And, sorry to say it, most of the time the co-sleeping continues because for Mom it’s easier, or it just feels good. This is selfish. You are developing insecurity in your child. And believe me, the longer you wait, the harder it’s going to be to stop the habit.
I had a single-mom friend who had her little girl in the bed with her from the time she was born. By the time her child was 3 years old, Mom was ready to have her bed back. But by then, the habit had been long nurtured, and wasn’t going to go away so easily. For many nights she tried laying her daughter down in her own bed, but by the middle of the night, the little girl had wandered back into Mommy’s bed where she stayed until morning. If Mom tried to put the girl back in her own bed, she cried and screamed and fought until her exhausted mother gave in. The frustrated Mom didn’t know what to do, and the poor little girl didn’t understand why all of a sudden she wasn’t allowed to sleep in the comforts of Mommy’s bed as she always had. Sleeping in a whole different room, in a cold and lonely bed (in her mind), was too intimidating for the toddler.
It is so unfair for you to do this to your child. So, start off right by forming good sleeping habits early. Co-sleeping for breastfeeding or whatever early on is great. But by 3 months a baby can sleep 8 hours through the night. Don’t make it harder for your child then it has to be. Teach them to be able to comfortably go to sleep on their own, in their own bed. Believe me, you’ll all get a better night’s sleep!
2. Using “White Noise” to help your child go to sleep.
When you put your baby to sleep, don’t debilitate him/her by creating a sleep crutch. Insisting that you turn on a fan, white noise machine, music, or some other sound in order to help your child go to sleep faster is only creating a bad habit. I’m not saying that you should NEVER do it. There are times, like when you have noisy guests over, or are at somebody else’s house, when using a pleasant sound is good for helping to drown out the background noise that would otherwise keep baby awake. But you should put your child to bed without a noise for the majority of the time, so that he learns to put himself to sleep in the silence of his own room.
My husband is a prime example of this. He simply cannot go to sleep without a fan or something creating a low humming sound. If we sleep somewhere away from home, where there is nothing to make a white noise, he tosses and turns and goes crazy in the silence.
My dad also told me of a man on his softball team who has this same problem. Every time they have a game out of town, this man brings a small fan with him, just so he can go to sleep. There is no reason to create this stumbling block in your own child’s life.
3. Using a baby wipes warmer.
Sure it sounds like a pleasant thing to wipe your new little baby’s soft tushy with a soft, warm baby wipe. And I’m sure that baby loves the feeling of it. But what happens when you are out to eat and you have to change baby in the bathroom using a little pack of room temperature travel wipes. I’ll tell you what happens. Baby is suddenly shocked at the cold thing wiping her bottom, and cries in protest wishing for the cozy warm wipes that she’s so used to.
I’ve never had a baby cry about being wiped with baby wipes right out of the box when that was all they had ever known. There is no need to create this habit of needing to have warmed up wipes. In my mind, it’s simply overindulgence, and when reality hits baby is confused and upset.
4. Allowing your child to carry around a special blanket or stuffed animal everywhere you go.
Limit it to bedtime only. If you allow your child to carry his special thing around with him everywhere you go, you create several problems: If you forget to bring it in the car with you, you will have to deal with your child being upset about not having it. If you accidentally leave it out wherever you were, your child will be devastated to have lost it. And, your child will become dependent on this thing to bring him comfort throughout the day. You want to teach your child to depend on the Lord, not on material things.
** Let me say it again; some of you seem to be misunderstanding, or just not completely reading what I’ve written. I’m not against a child having a comfort item. My own little one has a special blanket that he would carry everywhere if I let him. My suggestion is merely not to allow them to form the habit of carrying it around with him every single place he goes.
5. Feeing your child off your plate.
Seems innocent enough, right? But I promise you, if you begin feeding your child off of your own plate every now and then, you will soon create a little beggar. You will not be able to sit down for one little snack without your little one toddling over, climbing up in your lap, and begging for a bite of whatever you have. You will never be able to eat in peace again if you start this habit! If you think your child is hungry, sit him down at the table with his own plate of food to eat from.
6. Never making your child drink plain water.
For whatever reason, when we would run out of juice I would always find myself apologizing to my daughter as I handed her a cup of water saying, “I’m sorry baby. We don’t have any juice. We only have water.” When one day it dawned on me… what a terrible message I was sending her! I should never be apologizing for giving her such a wonderful drink as the one that the Lord intended to quench our thirst. After that revelation, I decided I was not going to buy juice any more. I started giving my children cups of ice water instead, and now they love it, and even ask for it! Drinking water is a wonderful habit to instill in your child, so don’t feel bad about it!
7. Cutting the crust off the bread; always peeling apple slices.
Just because you didn’t like eating the crust when you were a kid doesn’t mean that you should start this habit in your own kids! You are only creating picky eaters. If they don’t like it, they can eat around it. You have too much to do in a day, you don’t need to waste your time slicing the crust off a sandwich! The same goes for peeling apples. Unless it’s for your baby who can’t chew up the peeling yet, let them eat around it it they don’t like it.
These are just a few innocent mistakes that we all easily make with our children. I’m sure there are a billion more that I haven’t mentioned. But just keep in mind that it’s easier to create bad habits then to break them. The point of this post is to encourage you to avoid these problems, and fix them if they have already begun, before they get out of hand and become a nuisance.
If you want to share any tips or stories that you may have about creating bad habits in our children, I’d love to hear from you! I’m sure there is a lot that I can learn from you as well!
Tags : bad habits in children, mistakes parents make
Says:
Hmm interesting about the white noise, I dont have any kids yet so I never really thought about it. I know for me tho, I can’t go to (or have a really hard time unless im crazy tired) sleep w/out music or atleast talk radio on. And ironically enough I wasnt allowed to listen to music after I went to bed when I was a kid. Neither my mom or dad listen to anything when they go to sleep and my mom never had any type of noise for my sisters when they were a babies either. So I’m not really sure where I got my issue…lol
But hey I never had a security blanket or item. So I guess I just traded that issue for another one…LOL
October 1st, 2008 at 3:21 amSays:
My bestfriend still sleeps with both her parents(between her mom and dad) and she’s the same age as I am, 24 yrs old!!! It’s common in the Philippines to live with the family until you get married but sleeping with her parents is just too much. We’ve told her many times it’s not good. She’s an only child and she always gets her way. So maybe that’s also another reason why she doesn’t have siblings?!? hmmmmmm…
October 1st, 2008 at 8:53 amSays:
I have to say as a mother to a 12, 11, and 5 year old I couln’t disagree with you more. Children need a certain amount of security wether it be from Mom, a blankie, stuffed friend etc… My daughter (11) still sleeps with her bunny. Does she take it with her everywhere? no. Did she at one point? yes. Did we lose it? yep, and replaced and found again and lost again, etc…. The wipe warmer thing, I had one but didn’t use. It dried the wipes out. Co-sleeping we have always done to a certain extent, the kids had to start in their bed alone. Without a doubt I ended up with one or another before morning. However, they did out grow it eventually. What ten year old wants to sleep with mom. As to the water subject, maybe that should be all we offer other than milk. This is the case in our home and has never been an issue. Juice is a completely unneeded substance according to our nutrionist and pediatrician. I won’t even get started on soda, kool aid, etc… Enjoy your children while they are little and know that no stage lasts forever. My biggest suggestion is to not get them used to eating and drinking unhealthy items, because this is truely a detriment to their health that will last a lifetime.
October 1st, 2008 at 9:04 amSays:
Kendra, my kids are now 21 and 18, let me say to you AMEN! you are right on target.
October 1st, 2008 at 9:20 amSays:
Guilty, guilty, not guilty, not guilty, guilty, guilty and guilty. In that order. Did I mention that is picture of the exact sound machine that my 5-year-old still sleeps with?
October 1st, 2008 at 10:37 amSays:
Thanks so much! You are right on. It seems like I’ve done all of these things (except the water thing), and regretted it!
As far as the co-sleeping thing goes, I co-slept with my baby until she was 6 months old. I was so scared to put my baby in her own room by herself because I thought she would be lonely, or something might happen to her and I wouldn’t be there to help. After 6 months of little to no sleep (every turn, whimper, kick that she made, I woke up), I was too exhausted to keep on with it and decided to put our baby in her own room and crib. Wow! What a difference! I couldn’t believe I hadn’t done this earlier!
My life totally changed and after getting good rest again, my life went back to normal! I had energy during the day to take care of my home, cook better meals, keep things clean, AND TAKE BETTER CARE OF MY BABY! Before I had been too exhausted to do anything (can you say, “walking zombie”?)!
Another perk to putting my baby in her own room is that my baby learned to put herself to sleep. Now we could go to someone else’s house, and I wouldn’t have to lay down with her to get her to fall asleep – she’d put herself to sleep.
Will I co-sleep with the next one? Yes, probably until around 3 months like you suggested (if not earlier!), but after that, I’m putting her in her own, soft, quiet little crib and I’m going back to my own bed!
Co-sleeping does NOT work for everyone, and while some people choose it, they shouldn’t down on those who don’t – because like me, their sleep and health…and family, may become deeply deprived because of it!
October 1st, 2008 at 10:38 amSays:
I definitely agree with many of things in this post. Co-sleeping can be a bit of a problem when you want your bed back. We never really did it because I was always so afraid I would roll over the baby or that she would fall off the bed. However now that our infant sleeps in our room, my toddler wants to sleep in with us. It is not comfortable when she sleeps with us because she sprawls all over and so we are trying to nicely break her off that habit. I believe that drinking water is important. We do milk with meals, water during the day and we do maybe one cup of watered down juice with snack.
Good post.
October 1st, 2008 at 10:38 amSays:
I must disagree on several of your points. I have 4 kids (10, 8, 5 & 2) My oldest slept with us for quite a while. He is now 10 and sleeps very well by himself, and has for years. My daughter (8)never did want to sleep with anyone. Fine by us, it’s not like we tried to force anyone. My 5 year old joined us in our bed when her baby brother was born. My husband was gone late at night alot and I needed rest. I would let her (at age 3) go to sleep in our bed while I nursed her brother. She’s 5 and sleeps very well by herself. The last one is 2 and still sleeps with us occasionally. He’s quite capable of sleeping in his own bed, but he is still little and loves to snuggle with mom and dad. My husband says he wouldn’t change a thing when it comes to the kids sleeping with us. It’s very bonding and it won’t last forever. As far as having intimate time together, I guess we’ve done okay since we’ve got 4 kids
We all sleep with white-noise. When you’ve got kids that need to sleep and the phone rings at all hours (like ours does…people don’t break into buildings during school hours) or a baby is crying half the night, you’ll do what needs to be done to help your little ones get the rest they need. I take our white noise machines whenever we go anywhere. I don’t consider it a stumbling block at all, although it could be a problem for a spouse later down the road if they are annoyed by it.
My kiddos all had a pacifer and a “lovey”. And yes, they went eveywhere with us, but oh how nice to have something they felt secure with when they needed “down” time! I agree that a child needs to be dependent on the Lord when they are old enough to understand but how do you explain that to a 1 year old(even adults have trouble with this) ?
My kids have turned out very well considering all the “no no’s” I’ve allowed them to do.
October 1st, 2008 at 10:43 amSays:
I pretty much agree with you, although all three of my kids had blankets that they were attatched too. But overall I like what you said and agree with you. Thanks for sharing.
October 1st, 2008 at 10:50 amSays:
I just want to point out that my little Titus still has a blanket that he would carry around all day with him too, if I would let him. I don’t see a single thing wrong with letting them have a comfort item. It’s just not a good idea to cultivate a habit in them of having to have it with them everywhere they go!
October 1st, 2008 at 11:03 amSays:
I agree so much with the food one. So many parents make the mistake of making food taste for children the way we want it. Apples and celery must have stuff on it. Why? Don’t start out that way. Give kids plain and see what they do without the carmel dip. It’s great to make things fun but not while making it unhealthy.
October 1st, 2008 at 12:29 pmSays:
I agree with you on some points but not all. As first time parents it is difficult to “do everything right.” We each make choices on what we think is best for our families. We all make mistakes and that is how we learn if it was worth it or not. We may find out that the struggle in breaking the co-sleeping or lovey habit was worth it.
October 1st, 2008 at 2:42 pmSays:
I’m not a mother, but I just wanted to say that I agree with you about the security item to a point. What my mom did was let us have them, but they had to stay in our beds – we couldn’t carry them around the house or take them anywhere unless we were spending the night. Then it made it easier if we did have to spend the night somewhere because having something familiar made the strange not seem so strange.
October 1st, 2008 at 6:44 pmSays:
I am a mommy of 5, ages 11, 7, 5, 3, & 1, and I agree & disagree with you. Co-sleeping – completely agree – a few months was always nice when they were babies, but not long-term! I don’t see a problem with the white noise thing at all – only one of my kids used it to go to sleep, but he outgrew it by age 2-3 with no problem and because he was so collicky – it was a God-send to my sanity. It was the only way he’d sleep for more than 10 minutes and give me a break from the constant screaming! It really saved me from going on medication. As for the ’special thing’, my 5 year old daughter and my 1yo are the only 2 of my kids who developed an attachment to anything. While I admit, it was AWFUL when we misplaced ‘Ducky’ (it was originally my 11yo. son’s toy, so 6 years later, there was no hope of finding another just like it!), I really appreciated the comfort it gave her. My 20 mo. old has just started showing an attachment to his ‘wolf’. I don’t mind it. It calms him and he goes right to sleep without any fuss. I knew from our Ducky experience how painful it was to lose it so I immediately purchased a ‘backup’ for $5 on ebay and I switch them up so I’ll always have one put away, yet appropriately worn. It’s just not a big deal to me – especially when it’s special to him. I know he won’t carry it off to college or anything! I totally agree with the rest of what you said! The food things… my kids learn to eat on their own as soon as possible and I was never allowed to be picky as a child and I don’t tolerate it in my kids. We are always thankful for whatever we’re given and we ‘try’ everything! NO WHINING ALLOWED! We also drink lots of water around here and I think it’s great!
October 1st, 2008 at 8:51 pmSays:
I think your heart is in the right place, Kendra, and I’m sure that the things you’ve written are extremely helpful to many moms. Not for all, though. Especially not for us. Some kids are just different than others. Many are like Dr. Dobson’s “spirited child” that are more sensitive and need more touch and sensitivity from their parents. If the parents are ok with such things as co-sleeping, feeding off your plate, cutting (choke hazards) apple peels, etc. It’s up to every parent to do what they feel is necessary.
I reccommend Dr Sears’ attachment parenting book for breaking the habits you discussed in a slow and loving way – such as moving the toddler bed into the mom’s room, then moving it further away, etc.
Children are sensitive souls and I feel that with love and respect we can bring up a child with love – just like you have.
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:01 amSays:
Blanket “rules” about what to do and not to do with children just don’t work. Children are not formed from cookie cutters. Each is an individual, different from the rest. We can thank the Lord for that!
I co-slept with my daughter until she was *gasp* four years old but only 6 mos old with my son? Why the extreme difference? Because my kids are extremely different. My son wants his space and my daughter is a snuggler. Despite the difference in their sleep needs, they are both good sleepers.
And I can assure you that if you ever met my daughter, “insecure” is not a word you would use to describe her. LOL!
I think one of the reasons parents have such a hard time transitioning their kids to their own bed is that they don’t “transition” them at all but instead force a sudden change cold turkey. What child wants that? Talk about shaking up their sense of security!
We are slow transitioners in this family and it’s proven quite successful for us. I can’t even remember if my daughter cried at all about moving into her own bed because we did it with such thought & care and at a pace that worked for everyone involved.
To say that certain parenting choices are “mistakes” only discredits intelligent parents across the globe. No one, and I mean NO ONE knows your child better than you do. Each parent must take into consideration their child’s personality and temperment and go from there. Each family is unique and each child within the family is unique. Each family must do what works best for them and not worry if others (who do not even live in the home) think it’s a “mistake”.
And very few kids go off to college clutching a blankie or needing a parent to sleep with them in the dorms!
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:45 pmSays:
I’ve enjoyed reading these responses and have been amused at the responses of the “attachment parenting” mothers. The responses make it sound like children will be seriously injured or harmed if you do not allow them “comfort” items or co-sleeping. Is a child going to be harmed if you make them sleep in their own room, and even transition “cold turkey”. I mean, seriously! Are there studies that show children are permanently damaged?
I’m very curious.
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:01 pmSays:
One more thing, it almost seems like you will be teaching children to seek comfort their whole lives, rather than deny themselves and be strong. It seems like too many kids these days want the “easy way” and integrity is slowly being lost. I wonder if it starts in the small things parents allow their children to do.
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:03 pmSays:
I have never seen this site before, I just stumbled across it, but I wanted to say that I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post. I am a new mom, my son is 6 months old. I totally agree with everything you have said.
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:35 pmI never even thought about the food thing, so I really appreciate you posting about it! There is nothing more annoying than a picky eater!! And I mean adults, but now I see exactly how that started! My son eats every baby food I give him probably because I simply give it to him. SO many mothers in the same stages as me notice that their babies like something and stick to only that. They are totally cheating their babies out of experiencing other things they may like just as much!
I agree that of course all babies are different, but we are the adults, they are the babies. We have not only the ability, but the responsibility to turn our cute little babies into healthy, well-rounded adults. Sadly so many times instead of us training the baby, the baby trains us. Amen sister!
Says:
I love following your blog and you seem like an amazing woman of God. I believe every child is meant to be raised w/the parent God has entrusted them to. Some of your “bad habits” apply to us and others don’t. Besides the water, I don’t think any of it matters, what has always been most important is their heart. Will co-sleeping til 2 or 3 affect the type of husband/wife they are? Will thier binky or blanky decide if they follow God’s will for their life? I know it won’t. Cute Story: My oldest used a binky til he was 2 1/2 (we had rules for it) and now he sleeps w/animals. However, one day @ church he watched VeggieTales R U Afraid of the Dark? or something liek that and when bedtime came he was all freaking out about monsters (which he had never done). So, I taught him how to cast the monsters out in Jesus’ name and we prayed. The next morning he said God gave him a dream about a frog (which is what he asked for). However, that night the same thing happened and I told him about the verse Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. So If He protected him yesterday, He’ll do it today. & he prayed. I have never had the issue since. Just Today my husband left for a retreat. This is the first time I’ve been alone since we’ve been married. I was saying over breakfast how I was nervous & a lil scared on how it will work out. And my oldest put his lil 4 yr old hand on mine, looked into my eyes w/such confidence, and said “Mommy, Jesus will protect you” “Your right, He most def. will” I guess the point is, the animals didn’t matter, he was still scared & still learned how to call on the Lord. I’m not saying habits don’t matter cuz they def. do! Such as prayer, reading the Bible, & eating healthy, etc. I’m just more concerned w/enforcing the good habits. When I think of bad habits, I think of: amount of TV, video games, nail bitting, spitting, eating in front of TV, things that you don’t grow out of.. they are w/you for life. {{HUGS}}
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:55 pmSays:
One bad habit my husband and I have created for our 7 year old son, is dressing him! My hubby got in the habit of dressing our son after the bath because usually our son, when he was little, would jsut run around naked and pee on the floor if you didn’t wrangle him in and dress him. So i guess my hubby just got into a routine. Now our son occasionally pleads and begs for us to help him get dressed, especially in the AM when he’s zombified. He’s in 2nd grade now though and we finally said…Enough’s enough!
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:58 pmSays:
This is coming from Kendra’s sister, so I feel I can give a good perspective on what she is trying to say (I think many of you are sorely misunderstanding her).
When she calls these “mistakes”, she is not saying that if you do these you are a horrible parent, or that your child will grow up maladjusted. The point she is trying to get across is that these are things that can teach children BAD HABITS that can be stumbling blocks and barriers in your child’s life, as well as cause much confusion and heartache for you AND the child when you decide that it’s time for the child to stop.
Also, allowing children to form these bad habits is not preparing them to function well in the “outside world”. You may be fine with these things taking place in your own home, but other people aren’t as tolerant.
For instance, other people won’t think it’s so cute when your child walks over to their plate and starts taking their food from them.
Other people won’t understand why you insist that your child uses their fan while sleeping at their house because “otherwise he won’t fall asleep!”.
Other people won’t understand why your child demands juice (instead of water) even though they don’t have any, and throws a fit when they don’t give him juice.
Your husband may not understand why junior “has” to sleep in bed with you when he wants his wife all to himself (for intimacy, if I may be so bold).
Other people may be offended when they work hard to prepare a meal for you and your child, but your child cries and complains because “the crust wasn’t cut off”.
I think this is what she is trying to get across. Save your child confusion, heartache, and conflict with others by simply bypassing these habits. Are you a failure if you do these? Of course not, and Kendra would never say that. But you may have some battles on your hands in the future that you wished you never had to face. Believe me, I’ve already done some of these things with my son and WISHED I hadn’t because we’ve already has some major battles on our hands!
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:34 amSays:
I have to agree with everything… as mom to 2 and 4 year olds, I have done each one of those things on occasion but, as a habit they are no good. For example… #1 NEVER slept in our bed ~ or even our room! I couldn’t handle it. He’s 4 y/o now and A DREAM when it comes to putting himself to bed! With #2 my Dh was working nights and so for the last one or two feedings of the night I would let the baby stay in bed with me. It was really hard to get her out of that habit and quit nursing altogether when the time came.
I guess I think in and of themselves these things aren’t “BAD” but it sure is a slippery slope to start down!
October 4th, 2008 at 1:33 amSays:
We love you, Kendra, and appreciate all of your advice!
Let’s get together soon!!!
October 4th, 2008 at 4:44 pmSays:
I totally agree with you on all almost all of your comments but the blankie one. My middle child carried a blanket everywhere he went and his paci. Although most people may find this ridiculous he was a very difficult baby and toddler and I chose to pick my battles with that one. He later gave up the blankie and paci simutaniously but went on to needing to wear a hat everywhere. Again I chose to pick my battles with this too because he was so not into social situations and this made him feel better. We didn’t have as many throwing himself in the floor screaming crying fits to go home if he had his comfort item. He is a very happy outgoing somewhat shy little guy of 10 now who does not need any comfort items if you don’t count the watch he insesively wears. LOL I love your site especially the visits with your farm friends!
October 5th, 2008 at 11:27 amSays:
Co-sleeping is not a mistake for us. It is the best choice we made as parents. We co-sleep with an almost 5yo and an 18mo. Just today my son was laughing over how big the bed will need to be if God sends us more children.
In my opinion, to arbitarily decide that sleeping with children is a mistake is to ignore the many, many cultures now and in the past who have slept with their children successfuly. My son says he wants to sleep with us until he gets married. We suspect he will make a choice to move out before then, but if not fine.
It’s not easier for me. It’s emotionally easier for them. And they get to sleep on their own, for the most part, and we join them later.
October 5th, 2008 at 4:20 pmSays:
I agree with you in general principle on many points but as I’m sure you well know, each situation requires wise discernment and what works for one will not work for all! We are a family of four, almost five, living in a tiny two-bedroom apartment with very thin walls. There’s no such thing as sleeping in “silence” – even when we’re all asleep we hear neighbors, car alarms, dogs howling etc (we’re in the city). Nobody would get any sleep if it weren’t for our fans and white noise machine in the kids room – they work for us!
October 5th, 2008 at 11:48 pmSays:
As a mom of adult children (26, 22, 18)and a nana of one adorable baby boy, I have to tell you that the years our babies/young children shared our bed are some of my warmest mommy memories. Each family has to decide for themselves if this is something they want to do. And I have had zero regrets and only wonderful memories of those days
October 6th, 2008 at 10:47 amSays:
First I think this is a great topic, I have loved reading all the sides of it. I am a new mom of an adorable 6 mo old. He slept in our room for the first month and then in his own…more so because i slept better when i didn’t hear is ever move. When I moved him i was convinced he had to have white noise, so he slept with that…well at 5 months old we lost power one night..so no noise..and you know what he slept just fine…so now no noise. We haven’t gotten to the eating off the plate issues. We have just started solids (which in the baby world is another entire debate on when to start that)….mostly i just wanted to say, good luck to us all, and hopefully we will raise children who can function in our fun, crazay and difficult world.
October 7th, 2008 at 4:09 pmSays:
Curious Mother: for researched based information on cosleeping and a number of other practices typical of attachment parenting visit Kelly Mom: http://tinyurl.com/wptmo
October 8th, 2008 at 12:14 amI know that I certainly found it an eye-opening experience when I first browsed through her extensive library of articles and links.
Says:
I agree with your ideas. It’s funny, my daughter (age 1) will NOT drink water. I hope she grows out of this because I inted to give her lots of it. In the meantime, I fill about 1/4 of her sippy cup with juice and the rest with water. Works just great (and we save money on juice)!
October 15th, 2008 at 8:44 amSays:
I whole-heartedly AGREE!
October 16th, 2008 at 4:18 pmSays:
Hi Kendra-
October 20th, 2008 at 4:06 pmI totally agree with you! Our son (7) is not a picky eating because I simply refused to cater to his whims. I gave him a broad range of fruits and vegetables with his meals and never made something different for him because he “might not like it”. He has too many little cousins who are enormously picky because they’ve been catered to.
The co-sleeping thing is another thing that I promised I would never do! I experienced it first hand through a nanny job and it was not a good thing!
I even remember being in third or fourth grade and finding out that a classmate and his sister still slept in the same bed with their parents. The nine or ten year old me thought that was a weird thing to do! I’m glad my son sleeps in his own bed. Any time he tries to come and snuggle and sleep in my bed (early mornings after daddy has headed to work) he always ends up wiggling too much and waking me up!
Says:
THANK YOU! I babysit small children and often have to deal with these innocent mistakes that parents make (i.e. when the parents forget to bring the child’s favorite stuffed animal or blanket, etc). I’ve been cutting the crusts off pb&j sandwiches, but maybe I’ll stop doing that now.
Anyway…just wanted to say thanks. These are very good ideas!
November 4th, 2008 at 11:33 pmSays:
Wonderful advice – hope people take you up on it.
November 29th, 2008 at 1:00 amChildren need to be “healthy,confident in themselves and feel secure” – that their parents will always be there for them.
Sleeping on their own and not needing a security object with them everwhere they go.