Thanks to all of you who chimed in and gave ideas on how I can read to my wiggly son who has a hard time sitting in my lap anymore while I read to him.

It seemed like the main consensus among all of you was to continue reading to him, even if he’s playing while I read, because he’s listening and picking up more than I think he is!

It’s funny that you all said this, because only a few days after you all pitched in with your advice, I was reading Amy Carmichael’s biography "A Chance to Die" (by Elizabeth Elliot), and came across this while reading.

The children in Amy’s family were called to daily prayers each day by a bell. During that time, her father would also read the Scripture to them. Here is the quote that hit me:

"Amy remembered the sound of her father’s voice reading the Scripture, a "solemn sound, like the rise an fall of the waves on the shore." Her ear was trained in this way, from those earliest years when a child’s powers of memorization by hearing are nearly miraculous. For the rest of her life the majestic cadences of the Authorized Version of the Bible shaped her thinking and every phrase she wrote.

A child, even when apparently distracted, learns far more than adults dream he can learn. Amy did not by any means always attend perfectly to the reading. Once she found a mouse drowning in a pail of water just at the moment when the prayer bell rang. She fished it out, hid it in her pinafore, took her place at prayers, and hoped it would not squeak. It did."

How’s that to wrap up thoughts on the subject!?

Thanks everyone for your input!

If you have ever felt like you don’t contribute much financially to your home, this may make you feel a little more valuable! Salary.com did a survey of Stay-At-Home Mom’s and found that the average market value of these mother’s is about $116,805 per year! Go HERE to calculate what you are monetarily worth to your home.

I’ve really been learning a lot as we’ve been working through this series discussing how we can make our homes into havens . There has been a lot for me to think about…things I’ve never really sat down and fleshed out before…so it has been very good for me!

So far, we’ve looked at nourishing your own walk with God , honoring and respecting your husband , and today we’re going to look at…

Serving your children

If you haven’t been with us during this series, you may want to start here .

I am a new mother, so I am no expert on this subject. In fact, I’d like to do less talking and more listening today and get your input today.

Before you all share your wisdom, here are a few thoughts that I had about what it means to serve your children:

1. When we Serve our Children, we are Imitating Christ.

Jesus came not to be ministered unto, but to minister (Matthew 20:28). He washed the disciple’s feet, provided food for the five thousand, healed people, prayed for His disciples…even gave His life for you and me. As mother’s we’ve been given the opportunity to imitate Christ’s selfless service every day to our little sheep. When Christ served, He did not expect anything in return…He did not come to be ministered unto, and neither should we. This is not to say that we don’t expect good behavior and respect from our children, but it does mean that there will be many diapers changed, messes cleaned, noses wiped, meals cooked and clothes washed that we will never be recognized for…and that’s ok.

2. Serving our Children Does NOT Mean being a Slave to our Children

Serving (i.e. ministering) is not one and the same with being a “slave” to our children. Serving means overseeing the nourishment, education, discipleship and care of our children. It does NOT mean doing whatever your child wants just because they want to do it. Part of you serving your children means leading them by establishing rules and boundaries, as well as disciplining them and teaching them character. That is true service. As mothers, we are not to be slaves to our children’s desires and tantrums.

3. The Following Are Some Ways That I Can Serve My Children:

• Let God’s love and grace flow through me each day so that I respond correctly with wisdom and patience and am like a sweet savor to my children
• Train them in the fear and admonition of the Lord by disciplining them, reading and memorizing scripture with them, bringing them to church and talking to them about the Lord
• Pray with and for them
• Respect and Honor my husband as this provides stability to them and paints a picture of how the Church honors and respects Christ
• Be there – for their first steps, their first words, when they fall, when they laugh – whatever it is, I must be there with and for my children…especially when they are young.
• Provide healthy meals and nutrition that will nourish their growing bodies
• Make sure they are properly clothed and well-cared for
• Kiss their boo-boos and hold them when they are sick or sad
• Listen to them, play with them, laugh with them, build a strong bond with them
• Provide a rich learning atmosphere where they can flourish intellectually, emotionally, relationally and spiritually

Now, let me hear from you. What does it mean to serve/minister to your children in your role as “mother”?

I’ve been hearing a lot lately from mom’s who tell me that they wish they could stay at home with their children. Let me tell you something… you can! The problem with society today is that mothers have been brainwashed by consumerism. We are told every day that we deserve to spend money on things that will make us feel better about ourselves. So, we literally “buy into” this lie, and splurge on self-indulgences. Too many mothers are so busy making themselves look good at the expense of their precious children.

Let me ask you something: When you die, what do you want your children to remember about you? How pretty your fake nails looked? How nice your hair was always fixed? How you wore such trendy clothes?? Or do you want them to remember how you spent every moment you had with them, showing them how cherished they were to you. How you took the time to teach them, play with them, listen to them. How you sacrificed so that you could give them your very best.

Often when I tell people that I’m a Stay-At-Home mom, they say, “Wow. Your husband must be making good money.” Well, honestly, he’s not. Last year we made just a little over $20,000 for the year. Now, in my book, that’s nothing! But you know what, we’re making it happen. We sacrifice, and we work extra hard at making the most of what we have. Sometimes it’s a struggle, and we live on faith every day, but we have never been without necessities. We have always had all of our needs graciously provided for. The Lord has been so faithful to bless us abundantly more than we ever could deserve. And I praise Him for that.

So to all of you slaving mom’s out there pining to stay home with your children, instead of handing them over to the care of others every day, take heart. I’m telling you, if you are willing to sacrifice what this world calls important, you will be able to give your children the incredible gift of yourself. Step back from your worldly lusts. If things are keeping you from staying home with your precious children, then give them back to Satan.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I see nothing bad about pampering yourself every once in a while… IF you can afford it! But for those of you who think you can’t afford to be a homemaker, see how many of these money saving tips you can put into action:

The first thing you need to do is make a budget! Here are some budget forms to get you started.

• Stop the weekly, bi-monthly (or whatever) manicures/pedicures! You aren’t impressing anyone with them. Invest in a $5 bottle of nail polish and paint them yourself!
• Get your hair colored back to it’s natural color, and stop getting expensive professional coloring and/or highlighting every month or two! God knew what he was doing; your natural color probably looks better anyway!
• Stop splurging on spa treatments. Except for special occasions, or when you receive gift certificates, STAY AWAY from spas! You don’t need it! Take a nice bubble bath at home instead.
• Ditch the Gym Membership. How often do you really go anyways? How about jogging around the block with the stroller, or taking a nature hike with the kids instead. Running and playing is an excellent way to get your heart rate up, and your kids will really enjoy the time with you.
• No more Starbucks! (Or whatever your coffee crave is.) Invest in a coffee machine and make it yourself. You can even buy Starbucks brand coffee to make at home if you have to have it. Remember, even just $.99 per day really adds up quickly!
• Break out those pots and pans, and cook it yourself! You can cook meals at home for pennies; and eat for a week off of what you would spend on one take out dinner. If you are at home (where you are really needed), you won’t feel the need to eat out so often. If your budget is tight, give yourself a (small) set amount for fast food for the month, and don’t eat out any more once you’ve reached that limit.
• Go on a Shopping Strike. Honestly, you don’t need any more shoes. And nobody who matters really cares if your handbag matches your pumps. If you can’t afford to stop working to stay with your kids, then you can’t afford to buy more new things. Stop blowing your time and money on things that will be eaten up by moths. If you truly need something to wear, check out second hand shops! They have the same styles you will find at the mall, for much, much less!
• Cancel Magazine Subscriptions. Instead, look up the stuff you like to read online, check out books and magazines from the library. Search for free mag subscriptions online. I get Parenting, Better Homes and Gardens, American Baby, and a couple more for FREE, and there are many out there to choose from.
• Forego those lavish vacations. Your children are much more likely to appreciate the nights that you played board games with them, and read them books, than the expensive trips and theme parks. Once you are in a place financially where you are able to stay home, save your pennies. And when you have enough saved up, then you can take a nice trip together. But don’t spend money you don’t have on things that won’t really matter in the long run.
• Get down to owning only one vehicle. Gasp! What? One vehicle?? How will I survive? How did anyone in our mother’s generation survive with only one household vehicle? They just made it work! We decided to make this sacrifice about a year ago, and believe me, it is a BIG SACRIFICE sometimes! But you know what, it’s has saved us thousands of dollars and has been worth it all the way. And on the same note…
• Get rid of car payments! If you owe on your vehicle, get rid of that debt! Trade it in for something cheaper, sell it, do what you have to do to owe nothing on your car. That is one debt payment that you can eliminate quickly! Going back to my last point, we were able to get rid of our truck payments by trading our truck and our car for one vehicle, our van. One vehicle, zero debt. What a great concept!
• Consider the cost of childcare. The average family spends $8150 per year on childcare, according to The National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies. You could be keeping that money and investing it into your children’s future.
• Calculate the cost of working. Figure up the cost of transportation and commute, business clothing, eating out, coffee runs, dry cleaning, last minute dinner take-out, hair and nail appointments, etc. Here is a calculator to help you determine how much you are really bringing home. Is it worth it? Can you live without it? I bet you can!!

You know, I could go on and on with money saving tips, but I’ll stop there. Being a former educator, I’m very passionate about mothers being able to stay home with their children. The benefits are incredible, and the sacrifices are a million times worth it. If your situation looks impossible, and you feel like you just cannot make it a possibility for you to stay home with your children, Crystal wrote some encouraging articles HERE on working from home ideas, and other tips to help you on your way.

Today my 4 yr. old daughter told me, “Mommy, I’m glad I have a Mommy here to give me a snack, and read me stories, and hug me and play with me. I love you! You’re my bestest buddy!” Let me tell you something, no amount of personal pampering would ever give me such satisfaction as hearing these words from my little girl. I feel so blessed to be at home with my babies, where I belong. I encourage you to prayerfully consider what you can do to give your children the gift of you.

*Note: To see comment thread go here.

What is the best thing that you could ever do for your children? I mean, better than giving them your time, your affection, financial stability, a healthy marriage with your spouse, a warm home with little (if no) friction, tidy atmosphere, good food, a dependable daily schedule, good education, etc. What is it?

The most important thing you could ever do for your children is this:

Maintain a warm and vibrant relationship with the Lord - love Him, know Him (by reading His Word), and serve Him with all of your heart.

You can bring your children to church, read the Bible to them every day, talk to them about God, but if they do not witness, day in and day out, by your life and example that you are a passionate follower of Jesus Christ, they will only see is a shell of religion - an outward display.

And what will that profit them? Nothing. Except maybe to suspect hypocrisy…or become bitter against religion.

As homemakers and mothers, it is easy to get caught up in making tasty meals, keeping the home tidy and organized, giving our children the best education we can offer - but what will truly matter in eternity? Our children’s souls.

When they face God one day, will it matter if they had the highest GPA in their class? Will it matter that they were always given a clean home and nutritious meals?

No - what’s going to matter, ultimately, is if they came to know Jesus Christ as their personal Savior…and your influence as their mother is profound in pointing them in that direction.

So my challenge is this - don’t get caught up in the non-essentials, focus on eternity. Don’t get caught up in a busy schedule that makes it difficult to maintain a sweet, warm, and vibrant time with God, alone, each day. Know God, love Him, let His love and grace spill over to your children every day through you.

“They grow up sooooo fast!” - I’ve heard this often. And I believe it. It’s kind of scary.

Not long after my son was born, I began thinking about the day he’ll be married (Lord-willing) and I was thinking about his future wife (whoever that may be). Knowing too well how our culture is “molding” the women of today, this became a heavy burden to me. My greatest fear is that my son will be carried away with what the “world” calls beautiful and desirable, and he’ll find himself a miserable man with a wife who only cares about herself, who is materialistic, selfish, catty, rude, immodest, insensitive, uncaring, and wasteful. This would truly break my heart.

The desire of my heart is that my son marry a woman who cherishes, honors and respects him. A woman who brings joy and warmth to his life. A woman who constantly portrays Christlikeness and is a strong source of spiritual encouragement and refreshment. A woman who is wise, kind, tenderhearted, humble, selfless, submissive, forgiving, modest, patient, creative, capable, frugal. A woman who prays for my son. A woman who desires to be in the home, ministering to her husband and children as unto the Lord. This is the kind of woman I desire for my son.

How will my son come to value this kind of a woman? By seeing it modeled in our home.

I must be that kind of woman. I must model it for him. It’s not enough for me to sit down and give him a lesson on “Finding a Virtuous Wife 101″. He must see it in my life. You’ve heard it said that men marry women who are like their mothers - well, I must be the kind of woman what I want my son to one day marry.

When I thought of this, I staggered a bit in my mind. I’m not always “kind”, “selfless” or “patient”. I’m not the poster-child of joy and warmth. Thinking of this really put “fire under my britches”, so to speak. If my son is to desire a woman who loves the Lord, respects and submits to her husband; a woman who is wise, kind, humble, modest, patient, etc., I must be that woman in my home - toward my husband and toward my children.

What a responsibility! What a calling! So this is my prayer: not only that the Lord would provide that kind of a wife for my son, but that I will be an example for my son. I’m not perfect…I’ll never be perfect…but God gives grace.

Have you ever looked at your child, sat back in your chair and thought, “Wow!”? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve examined the little fingers on my sons hands and was absolutely awed by God’s immaculate workmanship. God made this child, not me (God used me, but I didn’t make my son - I didn’t even know what he looked like until he was born, but GOD did!).

What am I saying? Well, this child is GOD’S child entrusted to me for a short time. I am a steward of one of God’s beautiful pieces of handiwork - one that He died for - and it is my responsibility to “bring [him] up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4) and to point him to the One who died for him…

…but not only that! Children are our disciples - that implies that we not only point them to the Lord, Jesus Christ for their salvation, but also train them in His ways so that their lives are ones that are lived to the utmost to glorify God and be a light in this world.

What a challenge! It’s a bit overwhelming (and humbling), isn’t it!? But God gives us grace. He’ll never ask us to do anything that He cannot give us the strength and grace to do.